Is female rivalry stronger than female solidarity?

How many times do we hear a woman saying: “I prefer having male friends, I don’t trust other women”. Or we’ve heard that another woman who we thought was a friend, is talking bad behind our backs. Or we’ve suffered from harmful comments across social media, from other women! According to a study from the British company Demos, 50 percent of all harmful comments that women receive on Twitter, are from other women. This is truly a worrying fact.

And we ask ourselves, Is female rivalry stronger than female solidarity? Why does this ridiculous competition between women exist? Do we think that if we bring down our fellow women, we will rise above and reach further by ourselves? This is not the case.

I’ve been working with other women for several years, some in very tough situations, in my motivational seminars ,and  in my 40isthenew20 weekend retreats. I have given myself a mission to lift them up, encourage, motivate, and inspire them so that they can become the best version of themselves. They will become successful warriors and have a healthier, happier, and fulfilled life. In regards to these experiences, I am here to offer you the following tips.

Identify the cause of the problem: this rivalry is often originated from jealousy. Whether we’re the ones that feel jealous or the ones that others are jealous of. If you’re the one that feels jealous, then you recognize these feelings without blame.  It is a natural feeling of being human, however do everything in your power to overcome these feelings. Work on improving your self-esteem, and focusing on your own life so that you can get what you want independently from other women’s lives.

Be the cause of change: although it is possible to be tempted to criticize another woman for doing something that we consider inappropriate for our gender, you should think that you can be the person to promote solidarity, sincerity, acceptance, diversity, and overcome this rivalry. You will stand out from the rest, and it will help you lock yourself in with your own gender and identity, and will lead you to get along better with the women that surround you.

Encourage a “sorority”: this word from the Latin term “soror” (sister) refers to an alliance made up  of women that support each other’s confidence, mutual recognition, and support for each other. It’s a word that has developed attention due to various female solidarity movements like the #MeToo movement. You can join female support groups or clubs, in person or through the Internet, to create and increase the links between women, and work together in what unites us rather than what separates us.

Together we can overcome this wall of rivalry, and build a better future for all of us, by all of us.