Believing in love again after a disappointment
After a disappointment in love, many things change for us. It is a very difficult time that makes us question many of the beliefs that we had in the past. It can damage our self-esteem, our self-confidence and, above all, our faith in romantic love. Sometimes things just go wrong, but it’s important that you take this experience for what it was, that you get over it and that you move on with the confidence that it is possible to love again, with as much or more intensity than before.
Allow yourself to feel and express everything you feel inside: Many people tend to repress their feelings so that they don’t appear vulnerable, but the reality is that it’s always best to express and channel your emotions properly so that they don’t hurt you. After the breakup of an important relationship, you have the right to feel sad, angry, disappointed, confused, helpless, whatever you are feeling. If necessary, seek help from friends or family or even from a professional therapist so you can express these emotions, as recognizing them is the first step in overcoming them. Remember that this love didn’t just leave you with sad things but that there were also happy times; don’t start to associate love with pain.
Give it time: When you’re right in the middle of a breakup, it’s possible that you will believe that you’ll never be able to trust again and you swear that you’re finished with love. Have you heard the phrase “time heals everything”? It’s really true; don’t give in to despair and keep calm, with the confidence that eventually you’ll be able to remember this experience without pain. Ideally, during this time you should avoid making important decisions in your life (moving, changing job, etc.) as you are making these decisions when you’re in pain and you’re feeling resentful and when you are not in the right mood or mental state to make these decisions.
Forgive yourself for any mistake you made: Yes, perhaps you made some mistakes in this relationship and maybe your partner has made some mistakes too. Generally, both parties are responsible for the breakup, but don’t let these mistakes define you when you think about a future partner. Maybe you made these mistakes because you didn’t have the information or experience you needed, but there is no need to beat yourself up and to condemn yourself to a life without love because of them. When you have forgiven yourself, it will be easier to work on forgiving your ex-partner.
Heal completely before getting involved in another relationship: This is very important because the idea is that you start a new relationship when you are completely healed, without bringing the mistakes or the trauma of the previous relationship with you. If you have regained your self-esteem and your confidence, you can tune your sense of intuition and you’ll know if you can really trust this new love interest. You’ll realize that “not all men are the same”, that you no longer associate love with suffering and that loving and being loved again is a possibility for you.